Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
