nut hugger
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
