Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
