Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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