i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
please come you make the beer taste better
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
