I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
