I murdered the dance floor call the cops
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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