Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
