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How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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