I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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