I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
