everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
