Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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