I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
