everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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