So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
zippers are such a cool invention
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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