why didn't you poke me back
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
