i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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