I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
