i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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