shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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