You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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