but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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