Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
