no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
