worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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