I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
