ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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