i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
