is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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