You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
