My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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