his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
