You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will be naked everywhere
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
