do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
