Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
