if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
