dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
