Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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