I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
