my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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