I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
