You work out of a Hotel?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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