Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
