Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
