I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
