Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
