Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if only i could text you this smell
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
