just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
