My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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