I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
