I think my vagina is haunted
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
